The next day science test came and went and marks were released. Sumaya and i had gotten the highest marks in the class. Being applauded by teachers for getting good marks was something definitely not in my books of history. As we walked to the front of the class to collect our question papers, people clapped while others commented, ” MAAF EKSE” and ” DUST”
When we returned to our seats, she opened the Qur’an and read in the most melodious voice. It wasn’t loud at all but as my mum always says, ” i have selective hearing” A full 10 minutes later she closed the quran and gazed up at me, since i had been staring at her since she started. Our eyes mer and it was the first time that we saw eye to eye. It felt like milliseconds before she turned away and murmured under her breath, ” astaghfirullah!!”
Her words ignited an age old rage and without thinking i uttered words that i regret saying to this day and words that probably cut like a sharp blade.
” Dont ever say those words around me and besides what the hell is the point? You just say it for show and deep down under all those layers of skin and bone, there is a person worse than me.
She turned to leave, a confused look on her face and an expression of disappointment and remorse.
As i tossed and turned that night in bed after having returned from the sikr programme they have on thursday nights, i failed to notice the card placed neatly besides my lamp shade. After having gone to the bathroom more times than i could count, at 3 in the morning, i saw the note. Switching on the lamp post that created shadows on my walls, i opened the letter…….
i apologize for all the anger& pain i have caused you through my words but i rather have it that the creation is displeased with me rather than the creator. after all this time, i thought that my habits had become accustomed to you but i guess i was mistaken. we all have our weaknesses and faults but i pray that Allah grants me the strength to overcome mine. A friend is what i regard you as and i have been brought up with the principle that a true friend guides you when you think you least need it.
you should note that the past is where your past should stay ad that there is an almighty that is more merciful than anyone, so do not despair i his forgiveness. Allah hides all our faults and i’m not perfect, infact nowhere near, but i hope & pray that you accept my apology and forgive me for my short comings.
i read the card over and over again with a tear of guilt streaming down my face. I performed wudhu, read my Tahajjud salaah and spread my hands out before the lords of all the worlds. Time flew and the sun streamed through my bedroom window, as i got dressed.
Today was awards day. The last ten years of my life, i hated this day, but today there was a growing excitement in my tummy.
– YOUR SISTER IN ISLAM