All posts for the day January 16th, 2015


Published January 16, 2015 by katysoqewl

Well school was back in action and I was following the usual hectic routine…
Exactly 1 year to go of school and then I was done..
Matric 2015… The past few days have been lectures and only lectures about how this is the year they have been preparing us for since grade 1 and this will either make or break our future.. Literally every teacher gave us the same bayaan about distractions and how school is what we must be mist focused on and tata tata tata. The work was never problem for me as I am one of the “nerds” of my class apparently, so that I wasn’t worried about, but there was one thing that I wasn’t so sure about and that was constantly on my mind..
I am not the girl that likes a guy because well every other girl likes him and you just have to and honestly I never thought this day would come where I actually spell it out, but I think that I’m in love.. Call it infatuation or whatever the hell you want to, but to me it seems really real.. I’ve never told anyone really, but our parents tease us, which I think he doesn’t quite like because he likes the “Cinderella” of our school.. Or so I thought.. No one can compare to her in beauty, she is like straight from Jannah..
I don’t envy her because I’ve learned that when malice overtakes you, You will never be satisfied with what you have… I don’t want anything to happen between us that is out of the bounds of ISLAM, because I was never the dating material anyway apparently, but I can’t stop myself from feeling the way it feels.. It feels wrong and as Damon says it, ” a love that consumes me”.. Despite my attempts to single out wrong in him and try to focus on that so my feelings subside, I fall in love all over again when I see him.. This is the first time, I feel this way, I never had a crush in my life before, and to be honest with you, it makes my knees go weak and keeps me up at night.. But I decided earlier today that I’m not going to mention it to anyone and going to try and fast as I know that helps with these kind of things… But just as I make my decision, the house phone rang and you can only guess who it was…
The conversation began very awkwardly because normally he only phones exam time for maths since that is my strength..
We had 2 whole minutes of silence, like seriously both of us were quiet until he decided to break the ice..
“So what’s the deal with you and Randeree?”
Okay so Randeree is my friend who according to rumors developed a crush on me, but didn’t admit it or show any signs, because he was scared of ruining our friendship or at least something like that..
“Well we haven’t really spoken since last year”
“So you guys are on the outs ?”
“Uhh.. And you asking this because ?”
“Well, you know I don’t like competition..”

And now things got real awkward, like bad bad.. I think I preferred the silence…



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