The clock struck twelve in our eerily quiet house… That grandfathers clock has been ticking since forever and every hour on the hour, it would make that weird old tingle sound… It brought back good and relatively ad memories as well, but all in all, it witnessed it all… Tonight was the fist night after ma had passed away and I could not sleep.. The visions of the white Kafan lying in the lounge with the lifeless being of my beloved ma… Things happened too quick… Last night this time, I was feeding her a bowl of mielie meel porridge, her favorite.. The last couple of months have been tough for our family. We were not very financially stable and with her being admitted for months at a time, didn’t exactly help our predicament…
I’m 19 and at the prime of my life.. But I have a few obstacles that are obscuring my path to the dream life.. For starters, I’m not from an average class family, so I don’t live on a bed of roses, like many of you do.. I am a senior sibling to 3 boys.. 😐
Secondly, I have a few personal issues that L.O didn’t fix even though I learned self-esteem since grade 4… Thirdly, is MY PARENTS and now I have one more thing to add to the list MY MA WAS GONE.. My backbone and inspiration was gone.. I guess when you grow up with your ma, it becomes very difficult to live without them..
As I tossed and turned my night away, I couldn’t help but let myself wonder about the what ifs in life.. I wondered if all was going to happen like in the blogs, where the depressed girl meets someone new and they change her life around.. But I’ve learned not to have expectations and that expectations is the thief of happiness..
– YOUR SISTER IN ISLAM