All posts for the month May, 2015


Published May 30, 2015 by katysoqewl
After collecting our bags, we headed to go get something to eat.. Well Traditional Durban airport food, Panarottis.. After eating to our hearts content, it was time to go get a car at Dollar Thrifty. Long story short, dad thinks that it is more convenient to hire a car… So, anyway back to the fishy part of my life.. We jumped into the car and I almost immediately opened the first packet, removed the book and there was a note in the packet, which initially I had thought was a slip, but turns out it was a letter.. It read
Okay, so Sabeeha, I know you think I’m the randomest of people and don’t know who I am.. Well actually you do, but anyway… I saw you in that book shop and I thought that I’d grant you this gift, as a token of gratitude for what a gift you have been to me.. From now on, when strangers give you things, take it with a smile, because well, I’m too afraid to speak to you in person.. You can call me a girl, but I guess that’s just my nature.. It took a lot of guts to write this letter in the first place.. I really do hope you enjoy your book and the surprises.. 😜
I put the letter away.. And couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face… I don’t know who this person is, but they made me smile already.. I put that packet away, and sang to the nazm currently playing on Al-Ansaar.. It was quite a long drive to my aunts house… When we arrived, it was all sadness and tears.. My uncles sick.. I pulled out my iPhone after greeting.. There was a few snapchat notifications, a few instagram likes and comments and about 3 BBM’s.. It was from all my class friends and there were a few from family members… I tucked it back into my jeans pocket, and went to go help serve dessert.. 
Well, my weekend was pretty ordinary.. Books, mostly.. And assisting.. I really hope that he gets better.. I hate it when the mood is this dull… 
I got home.. !!! School was tomorrow and I had MacBeth questions.. Grade 11 is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but this work load is a bit too much.. I mean for one subject, you get like 3 sets of homework… I jumped into bed and then remember about that other packet… I opened it to find a wooden box.. It looked like it was from the 60’s, but when I opened it, there was something that dazzled more than I could ever imagine.. It was a necklace pendant, in peridot my birthstone.. Yeps, I’m an August baby… This person was spending a lot on me and it was getting even weirder, but nothing ever indicated that he was from my town, let alone my SCHOOL..


Published May 29, 2015 by katysoqewl guys are all probably going to think I’m a freakin nerd, but anyway my name is Sabeeha Motala… I guess my name says a lot, and everything you are thinking is most probably true.. Okay, now to my story..

I was at Exclusive Books at the airport, obsessing over the new books that are the best-selling novels according to the New York Times… Just as I put down a book, after releasing that there was no way I was going to get this book, as mum had just purchased one for me the previous day, i disappointedly put the  book down and walked out of the store… Something made me go back into the store and then I noticed the new shelf of books.. It was never there before, but I guess I never bothered been looking because that’s usually the business section.. There were amazing books, like really amazing books.. As I read the reviews at the back of them, the lady from the counter seemed to be calling someone.. I turned around and turns out she was calling me!!! I was trying to think what wrong j might have done, but my worries were dispelled, when she handed me a packet.. 
This is for you!! Someone said I should give it to you 
Uhhhh…. Are you sure ??
Yes, they told me the girl with the black scarf and blue bag..
Whose this someone?? 
I’m not sure.. He just said I should give it to you 
Well thank you!! 
I took the packet from the counter after much hesitation and went to the nearest seat I could find.. 
I opened the packet and found the very book i wanted to buy.. “Half the world” by Joe Abercrombie… I love Sci-Fi books… So, I anyway decided to pack the stuff up and head to our boarding gate because you know where boarding gate A8 is… After what felt like hours, I got to the gate and took a seat next to mum.. She was on the phone and dad was on his IPad.. I tucked the packet into my hand luggage and started to play games with my brother on his a Leap pad.. The line was getting shorter and so we went through.. After settling in the plane, I couldn’t help but wonder who this mysterious person was… My mind surfed the clouds and I still didn’t have a clue.. I couldn’t risk mum and dad asking where I got it from, so I just left it in my bag.. As we left the aircraft, the flight attendant called me.. She gave me another packet and  said that it was mine,. After a debate, I finally gave in and took the packet.. 
This was getting really freaky… 


Published May 16, 2015 by katysoqewl
It wasn’t long before I realised that everyone had been right all along… This guy didn’t really like me, because he had been chatting and meeting over 5 other girls… Then it dawned upon me that the only reason he was regarded so Macho was because of this… I was heartbroken once again and this time, I really felt the pain of betrayal… Why did he lie?? Why did he do that??? Am I suppose to confront him about it? I rather not because then I will lose him and I can’t afford that.. I need the attention!!! I don’t know why, but I do… I feel like I’m trapped. I know it’s wrong but I love this guy with all my heart and even though I know that he is dating and meeting other girls, I can’t get myself to be the one to call it off… 
So, today I’m sitting in a mess, I have no idea how to get out of… It is my fault and I accept this, but I really can’t do this all on my own.. I know I pushed all my friends 
 away, but I think I deserve a little bit of sympathy… I just need hell to get out of this mess and start my life afresh… I want a second chance and no one seems to be interested in assisting me in getting one… Now you might not be able to help me in particular, but I’m sure that there is someone in your school or class that has a stray just like mine… You’ve heard it from my perspective, so try and put yourself in my shoes.. Just stop and ponder that just maybe that girl who everyone calls a slu* is one that is trying to change… Just maybe you might be the one to trigger that second chance…. If you do this today, who knows? Someone might do it for you if you ever need it,.. 


Published May 10, 2015 by katysoqewl

Anyway Maseeha and Tasneem became quite close and I was left on the outs.. Well, I didn’t need them because I was engrossed in Naazif… That’s right, I was still dating him after all the drama.. I thought I never had feelings for him… Turns out I did.. He promised about our future and our life together and being so gullible, I fell for it… He would phone on the house phone late at night, then we would speak, but they say the truth can’t stay hidden and as I was on the phone, mum walked in the room, I panicked… Literally I froze and forgot to cut the call.. That was it.. I got hit with the belt over and over again.. My mum was so disappointed in me, she didn’t know what to do.. My cousins and aunties kept telling me that he is just using me and that he isn’t a good boy.. They’ve seen him with so many other girls.. But I chose not to believe it.. I was head over heels in love with this guy and I couldn’t get a grip. All I thought about was him and all I ever smiled about was him.. 2 years passed and I was going to high school.. Naazif came back to out school.. He said he came back for me, but I don’t know.. We began talking during the breaks, in free periods, any time we had , we were chatting.. All my friends slowly drifted away and I made him my world..  I slept every night with a huge smirk on my face because I got an I love you and sweet dreams babe before that.. I woke up in the morning to a loving message from Naazif wishing me good day.. I was content with life.. But they say things can’t be too good or bad, it’s called “regression to the mean”.. So I got dumped.. Cutting the long story short and it sucked.. I had no ones shoulder to cry on because I pushed everyone away.. After 2 full weeks of pretending sick, I got back to school.. It was about time I set my life bake in track.. But things are easier said than done because people don’t believe that you just decided to change, they want the whole story behind it.. It was like someone was literally stabbing me in the heart all over again, when I had to explain how, when and why this happened.. The why part i still don’t know.. I eventually got one friend back, but not entirely.. My life was normal or rather average and I think I enjoyed it that way, better than having peaks.. But they say that if you don’t have ups and down you will be dead.. Then, out of the blue as though nothing happened, I get a text 2 weeks later from Naazif… Being vulnerable as I am or rather was , I fell for it.. And all that heartbreak, tears and sadness for nothing.. We were back together and I thought he loved me all along.. I decided that although we will be together, I’m not going to push everything and everyone else away… So, we continued our little romance.. I was in awe with this guy. He said the right things at the right times and always made me feel like I was the ONE… But they say it isn’t what you feel, it is what the reality of the situation is.. Because oh well.. 




Published May 3, 2015 by katysoqewl
The boys in the higher grades at school all started talking to me and not secretly or anything.. Break time they would merely stop by and ask me personal questions and I never thought anything of it. My class friends never use to speak to me so I use to go and sit with my older “friends”.. 
Then one Friday night, they were all going out to the movies and since I didn’t want to go with my class friends for a sleep over, i decided that I will go with them.. Like I said my parents are t that strict.. I dressed up and curled my hair and left the house.. One of Zineerah’s (my older friend) boy friend came to pick me up and it felt a bit awkward, since we were the only two into the car.. He said that everyone else was coming just now… We got to the movie theatre and waited in line to get our popcorn, when I saw one my dads friends with his family.. I waved and he didn’t wave back.. He just gave me a look. Like what the hell are you doing with a boy alone here ??
I’m glad he didn’t tell my dad or else he would have taken away my phone.. They arrived eventually and we had a blast of a time.. I went home and headed straight to bed after getting comfy… I was SOOO tired.. But before I could do this, my phone started to ring.. I answered and it was Naazif (that guy that’s older than me and we sort of have a thing).. We spoke and spoken and spoke and eventually I got tired and we said our goodnights with love you’s and the  works.. I had a huge smile on my face when I went to sleep and oh well I did for quite some time.. Then,all my older friends had to go to high school and they didn’t want to be in this school, so they left, leaving me in the shadows… I was utterly lost, until I found a girl in my class who i could do stuff with.. She really wasn’t my cup of tea, but desperate circumstances call for desperate measures… I actually started to like her a little bit… Then there came another girl in the picture, who changed everything.. At this point, Naazif and I were still “dating” and I kept in touch with my other friends.. This other girl, wanted to be Maseeha’s friend but not mine… I was like what the hell??? She and Maseeha became pretty close and started hanging out like a lot.. I was getting really frustrated about loosing my only friend and i became edgy about everything.. At the same time, my bigger brother found out about Naazif and he told my parents.. Oh boy. I got grounded and scolded and my phone taken away.. Everything was going upside down.. 


Published May 2, 2015 by katysoqewl

As a muslimah living in this day and age and being exposed to so many vices, it really does take a lot of self-restraint to avoid the evil… Often, when we are caught up in a predicament, we blame our social circles, the media ect… Bottom line is that we blame everyone but ourselves for non-other than our very own actions.. Fair enough, there is outside influences, but the ultimate decision is made by us, whether we choose to do the correct thing and abstain, or the wrong thing and indulge. If we choose the former surely we shall be rewarded, but should we choose the latter, there will be befitting consequences.. And this draws me to a topic I would like to enlighten you about today… The topic of us muslimahs being able to socialize and interact on a socially acceptable level as well as prevent ourselves from falling of the edge.. People say that it has to do with your friends, and I do agree to an extent, but I think it has to do more with your upbringing… If you were raised since you were a moppet with the correct morals and values, I’m not saying that it won’t be tempting, believe you me it will be, but out of your own free will, you will realize that it is contradictory to your moral system and with the help of allah, this will steer you on the correct path.. I’m not here to lecture you on your friends, because I know you get enough of those from your parents, so take heed to my humble advices and enjoy the story.. 

Sameeha… That’s my name and what you about to read is my not so fairy tale story 
I was a straight A student all through the intermediate phase, I played in the schools Tennis team and was to some extent good looking * I’m not going to try to be modest, I’m going to narrate it as I thought I was* I was an extra bubbly person who spoke to every and anyone.. I came from an average religious family that didn’t struggle financially.. My mum wore scarf everyday, but I didn’t.. She never pushed me into wearing it as I was still young, and she said that I will be drawn to it eventually.. I dressed.. Skinny jeans, pumps, hairdos, and bling bling tops.. I was a Diva… In school I was not loved by many teachers as I had a big mouth and didn’t always hand in my assessments on time.. I was a happy go lucky child, but because I never got along with the girls from my class, I befriended girls a few years elder than me.. I never saw this as a problem, although my mum did.. They were in grade 8 and I in grade 6 at the time.. So they were getting involved with boys, and I never saw the harm in me engaging with them.. All the mall trips we had, we were meeting their newly acquired boyfriends… It was soo fascinating for me because it was like a Prince Charming story… Then, I got my own fairytale because I got involved with one of the boys in that crew.. For me it was soo fascinating because he gave me gifts and took me out for ice cream and you name it.. I never had feelings for him, but I just went along with it… But little did I know this was the beginning of my misery..

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