All posts for the month September, 2015


Published September 29, 2015 by katysoqewl

Almost a week had passed and I hadn’t seen her.. My heart was yearning to get a glimpse of her and even hear her voice.. So, I decided it was time to do something about it. I had seen her room-mate, but not her and I worried that something might have happened to her. Maybe, she was forced to go and live in Bhagdadi’s home.. The thought of this sent shivers up my spine.. I tried to get my hands on some pens and paper.. I then wrote a note to her and slipped it in through their cell window.. Days passed and my hope was wavering.. What if she never got the letter? What if I never see her again? 
Hannah P.O.V 
So, my days are now spent as the maid in Bhagdadi’s home, after the incident that occurred a week ago.. 


He stormed into our room and ordered that I follow him immediately.. I hesitated at first but complied after numerous threats on my life.. 

He led me here and told me that I was now to cook and clean in this house.. 
I had just finish warming the food as Bhagdadi would be home now, when there was a knock at the door.. I donned my veil and enquired as to who was out.. There was no reply.. I repeated this 3 times, still no reply.. Eventually I opened the door and there stood Sara.. 

Sara what are you doing here? 

I have a letter for you 

From whom? 

I’m not sure.. But it said that it was مهم جدا.. So I brought it immediately.. 

Just as she finished her sentence, one of Bhagdadi’s men saw her talking to me and that was the end… Great, what now ?? 





Published September 24, 2015 by katysoqewl

Okay, so I know I’m late.. But Eid Mubarak to all my lovely readers out there.. Hope you guys had a splendid day with the your loved ones.. So, this post, is from the guys P.O.V. Hope you guys like it..
I was afraid, unsure as to what my future holds now, probably everlasting pain and sadness. As they dragged me into their “compound” and started hauling orders that I didn’t quite like in Arabic, I felt my heart sinking and conveying the message of despair to my brain.. But then, as I gazed about, and noticed the caliber heading straight for the target, I drew lines with my gaze and met her beautiful green eyes. My heart yelped and as though instantaneously, I heard my heart send a different message, not only to my mind, but to every living cell in my body..I wish that I could have dwelled in that moment forever, because I saw a beauty unlike any other.. And later when we had assembled, I made certain that I was at such an angle, that I could see her clearly.. When I saw the first tear form in her eye, i felt as though someone was hurting me.. When she raised her eye lids and her black pupils searched around, i wondered for whom she had been looking… Then, when she rested her eyes on me, my entire body started to speak a different language.. After mustering the courage to go and speak to her, I comforted her with the simple sentiments I thought mattered.. 

My heart swelled when I saw the smile radiate from her eyes, her niqab might conceal a lot, but it couldn’t conceal that.. 

As I put my body to sleep that night, my mind conjured up dreams anew.. My entire world seemed to have change..

The images that flashed through my closed eye lids were no more ones that I could brand as “nightmares” but rather they were ones that made me want to dwell in that world..



Published September 22, 2015 by katysoqewl

I blinked, trying to steer my gaze elsewhere, but I guess the heart really is in charge of most of your senses.. His eyes were out of this universe, a different kind of vibe it have off and it was as though his eyes reflected an entire new life for me.. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I would like to believe that that moment altered my whole belief system.. I broke the gaze, as I realized that i shouldn’t be doing this and if they had to realize what just happened, I would have been flogged no doubt.. I tried to continue my days chores, cleaning the “rooms”, trying not to think about my experience earlier on.. I’m 18 years old and I haven’t felt like this before in my life.. My efforts were in vain as we assembled to witness the execution of yet another hostage.. Apparently he was giving Intel to America or some stuff like that.. I hated having have to watch these, but they said that we should take it as a تذكير of what our fate could be.. I stood at the back of the crowd, trying to concentrate on something other than the wailing sounds of the man coming from the cage in which he was being blazed.. I am a very “soft” person and so j began to weep, my fellow jihadis were cheering as though this was an accomplishment.. And as I raised my head, amidst the crowd, I could see those reassuring hazel eyes glance back at me, a look of pity in his eyes, or so I thought through my blurred vision.. Just as I picked up my وشاح to wipe my tears, I heard a voice pacifying me in the most gentle-like voice.. “لا أميل يكون حزينا الله أعلم” (don’t be sad, Allah knows best”.. These mere words, had an effect on my soul and all of a sudden from a soft thud, it began to pound against my rib cage, wanting to take flight and become his possession.. I suppressed my emotion, and gently smiled, the niqab didn’t allow for the smile to radiate, but it was a smile, that I think reached my eyes.. He gently remarked “adh hakallahu sinak” that night as I begged from my lord in the darkness of the night, I couldn’t help but include him in my prayer.. 


Published September 19, 2015 by katysoqewl

A bit different from all my previous posts, but I hope you like it, it’s a first for me too, so please don’t mind the pathetic descriptions.. 🙈.. Dedicated to all you “gruesome people” 😝😂
My eyes were drawn to the night sky, a star filled night. The ghosts of silver-blue clouds chased each other in front of the moon and this all but reminded me of the “chase” I was once in.. My name is Hannah Muhamadeeya and I’m a Syrian girl caught up in this struggle.. Unlike my fellow citizens, of whom I hear have been welcomed in Germany, I am stuck in ISIS territory… 

I woke up with the blaring Adhaan that echoes amidst the rubble and ricochets in the hollow spaces, the same adhaan that once called my ابي and أخي to Salaah, the same adhaan I heard when we had made our spiritual journey to المدينة.. The very same adhaan, yet completely unalike circumstances… As we completed the fair prayer, I raised my hands to the heavens and poured my heart out to the creator above.. Hot tears streamed down my face and died down on my lips, with the occasional one falling onto my lap.. My zest to live had long being gone and now all I anticipated was “death”.. Sometimes I wonder, although I know it is wrong, “why I was in this predicament and why Allah had put me in such a precarious situation”, but my thoughts were interrupted with the bellowing of one of the generals of Abu Ayman al -Iraqi.. “Yallah ya Akhawaat, tahareekal Aan” I diligently complied and headed back to my “room” which was one that I shared with 6 other women, and that was a mere 3×2 meters big.. 

Fasting was mandatory here, it was not an option, so we ran on empty bellies, whilst being forced to train with guns and bombs.. They said it was for our own safety.. I so clearly remember pulling the trigger as the 5.56 mm bronze round whistled through the air, and headed strait for the target.. I felt enigmatic and intrepid in that moment, but within the next couple of seconds, as my eyes wandered and locked with a pair of hazel eyes, I became more vulnerable than ever.. 


Published September 15, 2015 by katysoqewl

That night as I lay in bed, trying to get myself to sleep, I tossed and turned.. I laid in pensive mood for quite some time as my mind ran different scenarios and then dismissed the illogical ones.. I wondered what he must have been doing at that moment… Whether or not he had a roof over his head and it was in that moment that I realized that I loved this guy like a brother… We might not be linked by blood, but the bond we shared was unlike any other… He was this brotherly figure to me, after whom I had to look after.. I felt moisture around my eyes as I recalled some of the painful instances he had been in.. I read my fajr salaah, and decided to go for a run.. I sat at the embankment of the river and watched as dawn broke out on the horizon.. The glittering sunlight made the clear water sparkle and I sat lost in thought.. I was brought back to reality by the sudden movement in the water… A fish… I watched as it casually jumped out of the water and back in.. I was almost certain I had seen a flicker of joy in its hazel color eyes.. 

As it disappeared beneath the water surface, it created a ripple effect.. This small gesture would have seemed insignificant any other day, but today it meant something.. It thought me a lesson that no words could have thought me.. As the ripples spread and eventually reached the embankment, I watched as it drowned the weeds scattered there, but just as quickly did it return to normality.. 

In life every action that we do has a reaction.. When we do things, we shouldn’t consider ourselves only, because believe it or not, our actions sometimes determine the condition of others.. 

I returned home, perplexed at how this simple gesture some how gave me solace and comfort.. I guess I really never will know why some people don’t see the broader picture, but i think that from now on, I won’t be as oblivious to the little things in life anymore.. 

As for my brother-like friend, he will always live on in my heart and while I may not be able to comfort him verbally, I will surely hug him with my Duaas.. And inshallah we will meet in Jannah.. 



Published September 12, 2015 by katysoqewl

Uhh.. Uncle Ridhwaan, where you going” I managed to voice before my voice failed me.. “Nasreen, please don’t question..”

I could feel the anger surge through my veins as every inch of me wanted to lash out at him for all that he had done to my friend.. It took a lot of self-disciple to keep myself from doing just that.. 

“Okay.. Dad.. Umm.. Just give me 5 minutes, I’ll be home.. ”

“Better hurry.. I don’t have time to waste” 

No explanations, no manners.. And yaseen just agrees to everything.. Sometimes I really wonder how afraid he is of him.. 

“Umm.. Nasreen..”

“Yeah” I managed to reply behind trying to stifle my cry.. 

“I might be gone for a long while, maybe forever, but if we never get to meet in person again, then just know that I’m grateful for having you in my life.. ” 

The tears gushed forth.. “I know this is difficult, but I knew that sooner or later, this would happen because dad owes enough money here already and he can’t pay it ”

“But.. Can’t you just give up everything you have because he is running from trouble”

“Nasreen, listen to me, I might be suffering here in this life, but it is all a test.. I have to go.. Just make duaa” 

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, so I just nodded.. As he was exiting the door, I managed to mumble in between the tears 

“Be safe Yaseen, and please don’t hesitate to come back whenever you like.. You know this is your home too” 

“I will Nas, take care.. Oh and when I come back you better have perfected your choc-chip cookies.. 😝😝😂”

He always did know how to make me smile through the tears… With that, he left.. There was an aching sensation lingering in my mind and a sense of uneasiness in my heart.. I wondered how and where his days would be spent, to which school he would go and what kind of friends he would have.. A tinge of motherly instinct kicked in and I could feel that something wasn’t right here.. You know how when you do something wrong and your mum knows when she just looks at you, that kind of motherly instinct.. 



Published September 4, 2015 by katysoqewl

I stopped dead in my tracks as I put my bag down. Yaseen had a cut across the side of his face. Dad must have been in one of his moods and took it out on Yaseen. I went over to his place and almost instantly my vision blurred and I could feel water streaming down my cheeks.. Instead of me comforting him, here I was sobbing like a baby.. “It’s okay Nasreen , it wasn’t that bad.. ”

“You… You.. You have a mark, Yaseen.. Why didn’t you cone over last night?” 

“I didn’t want to trouble your mum.. She would have worried sick..”

“Yaseen, you could have come by my window.. I would have opened for you” 

“It’s okay Nas.. Seriously.. Now can you wipe the tears from your face please, I don’t want to have to explain why I made the pretty Nasreen Mahomed cry.. 

I laughed and wiped the tears.. No matter how sad he was, he could always put a smile on others faces.. The day passed and well he came by and told me what happened.. We had some tea and cakes, watched some series and then he went for asr. Something about him was different when he came back. Apart from the disheveled hair and dust clad Kurta, there was a tinge of joy in his eyes and at the core of my heart, I felt something, till now I’m not sure what it was, but it was an emotion that was indescribable.. We spent the afternoon till Maghreb making salads since dad was trying out this diet, which I knew was never going to last anyway, but oh well we grated and peeled our time away.. We had just finished clearing the table, and dad and Yaseen were having their own conversations, about some stock market related business.. Their conversations bore me, so I slipped into my room and checked all my social medias.. Well, there really wasn’t that much to see anyway.. The house phone rang and I ran to answer it.. Heads up I’m the secretary in this house.. It was Yaseens dad asking were he is and why he wasn’t at home.. The usual story.. I told him that Yaseen will be there soon and we hung up the phone.. I think that it’s unintended, but I automatically add a tinge of disgust in my voice when I converse with him.. He barely even knows who he is speaking to, so I doubt he even realizes it, but today he seemed a bit sober.. He seemed more frustrated than doped up… 

It wasn’t long before my theory was proven correct and Yaseens dad showed up, all buoyed up in formal wear.. He never had the usual stench of alcohol on his breath,but his fierce black eyes were ever so prominent.. 

“I need you to pack your stuff now, we leaving” 


Just a muslimah struggling with Bipolar Depression

My Raw version of life

life through the eyes of an empath

Nazy's Notebook

she was like the moon; part of her was always hidden

The Ethics of "Designer Babies"

the ethics of the genetic modification of babies

Taken from my heart

Love after Marriage

The night is my veil

my weapon is to pray ,will i miss my target??

The Sparkling Labyrinth

Durban lady working through the maze

Her Track

For every direction she wants to go.

Taking My Life as it comes

Just another girl taking life as it comes...

Islamic Reflections

Islamic Messages-Quotes-E-Cards-Graphics



Pearls of a Muslim

O Allah, help me to remember You, to thank you, and to worship You in the best of manner

Marriage Seeeking Muslimah

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful

Small Town Blogger

Travelling the world, hoping to find beauty in imperfection.

The Survival Place Blog

Surviving The World As We Know It

terry73's Blog

A fine site