Published September 22, 2015 by katysoqewl

I blinked, trying to steer my gaze elsewhere, but I guess the heart really is in charge of most of your senses.. His eyes were out of this universe, a different kind of vibe it have off and it was as though his eyes reflected an entire new life for me.. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I would like to believe that that moment altered my whole belief system.. I broke the gaze, as I realized that i shouldn’t be doing this and if they had to realize what just happened, I would have been flogged no doubt.. I tried to continue my days chores, cleaning the “rooms”, trying not to think about my experience earlier on.. I’m 18 years old and I haven’t felt like this before in my life.. My efforts were in vain as we assembled to witness the execution of yet another hostage.. Apparently he was giving Intel to America or some stuff like that.. I hated having have to watch these, but they said that we should take it as a تذكير of what our fate could be.. I stood at the back of the crowd, trying to concentrate on something other than the wailing sounds of the man coming from the cage in which he was being blazed.. I am a very “soft” person and so j began to weep, my fellow jihadis were cheering as though this was an accomplishment.. And as I raised my head, amidst the crowd, I could see those reassuring hazel eyes glance back at me, a look of pity in his eyes, or so I thought through my blurred vision.. Just as I picked up my وشاح to wipe my tears, I heard a voice pacifying me in the most gentle-like voice.. “لا أميل يكون حزينا الله أعلم” (don’t be sad, Allah knows best”.. These mere words, had an effect on my soul and all of a sudden from a soft thud, it began to pound against my rib cage, wanting to take flight and become his possession.. I suppressed my emotion, and gently smiled, the niqab didn’t allow for the smile to radiate, but it was a smile, that I think reached my eyes.. He gently remarked “adh hakallahu sinak” that night as I begged from my lord in the darkness of the night, I couldn’t help but include him in my prayer.. 


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